


Post Tenebras Lux

by smoaksignals



Series: Post Tenebras Lux [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Season Finale, Season/Series 02, Sex, Team Arrow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-01-26 21:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1702718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoaksignals/pseuds/smoaksignals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starting six weeks after the capture of Slade Wilson, and over the span of several months, Oliver and Felicity become part of a balancing act as Felicity tries to decipher his true feelings, and he learns to accept them himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> The final chapter of this story will be rated NC-17. Adult language here and there has the chapters leading up to that point as Teen and up. Marking as NC-17, because it's unfair to make people think they get to read the whole thing when they probably shouldn't. 
> 
> This is mostly a collection of vignettes strung together to make one story regarding the aftermath of “Unthinkable.” I had a lot of scenes and ideas floating around in my head, but didn’t think they were enough to stand alone. Please note that I have made some easy plot resolution choices for other events that happened in the finale, for the sake of focusing on what I want to focus on right now -- Felicity and Oliver. It might be best to think of the happenings herewithin as individual scenes within or in between certain episodes for S3. This is basically a sort of wishlist for S3 in story format, even though I doubt this is how most (any) of S3 will go down. I haven’t written fanfiction in almost 8 years, and I am still learning to write these characters, so bare with me.

>>>\---------------Part 1------------------->

“Oh. My. God”

Felicity sprang forward, wrapping her arms around the console, the hum emitting from beneath her vibrating her chest as she fought tears of joy. 

“I love you,” she whispered.

She stood up straight again, stroking a monitor lovingly. 

“It’s all so beautiful,” she turned to Diggle and Oliver, grinning from ear to ear and actual tears shining in her eyes. “I can’t believe you talked A.R.G.U.S. into giving me- us all of this.”

Oliver and Diggle smiled back in amusement. Before the island, Oliver was used to being around women who responded this way to Tiffany jewelry, not to large pieces of technology he would never begin to understand. The women in his life were different these days, all around. What few of them were left, anyway. 

It had been six weeks since his mother’s death, and Thea leaving town. He hadn’t heard from Thea since she’d left for the station. Sara was radio silent as well, per her agreement with the League, though he knew he hadn’t seen the last of her by a long shot. He hoped she was happy. There was a peace within him knowing that that she was with someone she loved, and that Nyssa wouldn’t let anything happen to her. 

Laurel had been busting her ass helping with the legal situation regarding Queen Consolidated. She’d fought tooth and nail, but he was finally granted ownership of the company again. The company was now broke, of course, but there was at least hope. She was involved in some ways with the team. He was still hesitant to allow it to grow beyond what it was, especially with Roy more or less back. She seemed understanding and content to help where she could. Her legal expertise and intellect came in handy from time to time. When she wasn’t working with the team, she was working at the firm and helping Quentin. His internal bleeding had done significant damage, though, so he had only recently been released from ICU. Being out of the action and primarily bed-ridden was hard for Detective Lance, so she tried to include him in any happenings, as few and far between as they might be. She was all he had anymore, after all. 

Roy was...different. He was hiding something, and Oliver couldn’t figure out what it was, though he could feel in his bones it was related to Thea. Why he wouldn’t clue Oliver in was a mystery in itself, and Oliver had concerns about him being part of the team if trust was going to be an issue. Having also lost Thea, as well as learning to rebuild his life after the mirakuru, Oliver was cutting him some slack for the time being. 

Diggle was going to be a dad, which was pleasant news amid the chaos. He seemed happy, so did Lyla. Their life together seemed natural and effortless, despite the obstacles. Lyla was still on thin ice with Amanda Waller, so to say there was tension between the two teams was an understatement, but they were more or less working together. 

And Felicity…

She squealed, her eyes wide as she held the door open to what held the servers and the bulk of the supercomputer. “A Cray XC30-AC,” she whispered.

“I’m glad you like it,” Oliver said to Felicity. 

“Love. Love it. I have BIG plans for this interface. HUGE.”

“On that note,” Diggle said, “I have a doctor’s appointment with Lyla in an hour, so I better head out.” 

“Yay!” Felicity followed up with some quick finger claps. 

He laughed, gave a wave to them both, and left. 

“I cannot believe this new facility,” she continued once Diggle was gone. “And look!” she pointed to the left side of the room, “you even got your salmon ladder back.” She sighed, batting her eyelashes at him jokingly. 

He shook his head, suppressing a laugh, looking down at the ground almost bashfully.

“Well, Waller kind of felt she owed us, preventing a mass genocide and all, even though she was the one who ordered it.” Although, only Oliver knew her other dark secrets -- having been a part of them at one point after all -- so there was more to her and the agency’s generosity than he was letting on. 

“Man. When she pays a debt, she really pays a debt. Must be a Lannister.”

Oliver furrowed his brow in confusion.

“You know, a ‘Lannister always pays his debts’ from…” she stopped, catching on that he had no idea what she was referencing. “Nevermind.”

They stood there silent for a few moments. 

It hit him then that it had been a while since they’d really been alone together. In fact, that brief moment back on the island was the last he could remember. So much had been going on since Slade’s capture, and only recently slowed down. They’d been working with limited resources, after the foundry had been destroyed, so they’d been using the back-up lair A.R.G.U.S had given Oliver. Not to mention, it had been pretty slow, in terms of crime. The city was rebuilding, and Deputy Mayor Porter was doing the best she could given the circumstances, so there was a lot of distraction for most of the city in that regard. Oliver supposed, in a twisted way, Blood’s plan had worked -- the community was closer, working together to start again. 

“How’s the new place?” she asked him, tearing him away from his thoughts.

“Good. It’s, you know...different.”

“A common theme these days,” she said.

Obviously, things were different. Everywhere in every way. People gone. Buildings gone. Relationships changed. Him and Felicity. 

There was just the slightest shift in their dynamic after they got back from the island. Not bad. Just noticeable. They were closer than before, it was a positive shift in that way, yet somehow simultaneously there was a distance there, wrought from hesitancy and uncertainty. In a way, that had been his intention. They were trying to keep a balance between them now, pushing and pulling where needed. 

“Yeah,” he replied, offering a small smile. “I should have you over sometime.” _Take a step back._ “You, Digg, and Lyla.” _Starting to sound like a double date._ “ And Roy,” he added after a beat. 

She smiled sweetly. “That would be nice.”

He hesitated for a second, but reached out his hand to rest on her arm. It was second nature, but he had to be more careful now as well. Not for her sake so much as his. 

“I have some things at the office I need to wrap up. I’ll leave you here to play with your new toys,” he said, dropping his arm. 

She just grinned, a light in her eyes. 

He nodded. “Then I will see you later.” She bobbed her head once in confirmation.

As he turned the corner, he heard her heels click across the floor, stop, and her say, “Hello, gorgeous. Alone at last.”

It was in that moment he was jealous of a computer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's own thoughts after leaving the island; things heat up at the lair.

>>>\-----------------Part 2----------------->

The fact of the matter was, there had been a plan. A good plan. A brilliant plan, actually. Granted, agreeing to have Oliver pretend to love her, even for a moment, was not easy to jump on board with as they made their way to his former mansion, but this was what she signed up for. Everything she did was for the greater good, because despite her mother’s expectations of her, she was more than capable of making a difference in the world around her. So she agreed to it, without a second thought. 

The only snag was that “I love you” had not been part of the plan. And with Oliver being a notoriously bad liar since the moment she met him, she wasn’t supposed to believe him. 

And she’d believed him. With that belief came a feeling of hope and promise dangling between them, just out of reach. She’d given him a chance to back out, to just brush those three words to the side as nothing more than improvisation and him having learned to be more convincing. But he’d simply smiled before giving her kudos, a question still in the air as they turned to go home. 

She’d had a fear that things would change, for the worse. That she would find it hard to be around him, or that he would recoil into himself. Yet, it was the opposite. That moment, the trust he had put in her to carry through with the plan, to respect her decision to do whatever it took to save his city along with him, had strengthened their bond; their relationship, in every meaning that applied to them.

Felicity wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world. She was needed. She was valued. Just like she always knew and hoped she would be by someone. Like she deserved to be. Despite the potential weight this life she lead put on her and those around her, being reminded of that made her feel lighter. 

 

>>>\---------------------------------->

Roy finally told Oliver about the letter; about having seen Thea during the fall of Starling City. 

Oliver was mad, to say the least, and his head was reeling with the possibilities of where she may have gone. He tried to find her based on the information she had given him before leaving for the station, but she was nowhere to be found. He found comfort in knowing she was alive, but comfort in little else than that. 

“Look, I didn’t know what all had happened, man,” Roy stammered. “I just knew she wanted to leave, and I wanted to leave with her. I should have told her the truth, and because I didn’t she’s gone. I’m not taking complete blame for that since I’ve wanted to tell her about all of this from the start.”

Felicity sank into her chair. The last thing Oliver needed right now was more guilt. Roy didn’t even need to imply that Oliver’s secret was in part to blame for her vanishing; she knew he was already thinking it himself.

Oliver turned on Roy then, approaching him with murder in his eyes. 

“Okay okay okay,” Felicity yelled, hopping up from her seat to stand in between them. “Roy, shut up. Oliver, back off. Pointing fingers isn’t going to find her. We need to put our heads together and figure out where she could have possibly gone. I have not been able to get so much as a ping on her whereabouts based on cell phone usage or credit cards.”

“Then we need to think outside the box. There has to be some other way to track her down,” Oliver said. 

“I have a few more ideas but,” she moved closer to Oliver, turning her back to Roy, “you need to clear your head. Start thinking of where else she might go. You know her better than any of us.”

His jaw was clenched, his eyes close. “I thought I did,” he said.

“Hey,” she said, grabbing his hand. “We’re going to find her, okay?”

Oliver looked at her then, his hand turned to encircle hers in return. “Okay,” he said. His voice didn’t waiver, putting complete trust in her. 

>>>\---------------------------------->

 

While Roy practiced his archery in one corner, Oliver and Digg were working on training Felicity more in combat. They were both pleasantly surprised that Sara had passed on some pointers to her, and she was maintaining them in new moves and techniques they taught her. 

“Ohhh!” she yelled, excited after finishing a kick-punch combo towards Digg, Oliver watching on the side. 

“That was good,” Oliver said. He walked over to her, grabbing her left arm. “Just make sure to keep this elbow in,” reaching to her other arm, his hand over her fist, ”and this fist just below your nose at all times."

Felicity didn’t hesitate or react to his proximity, though. She was breathing hard, adrenaline pumping, and sweat cascading over exposed flesh. 

“Do you think I’ll ever get to do the thing where I crunch my thighs around someone's neck and flip them to the ground with my womanly ferocity?” 

At that, Roy turned, Oliver released her arms, and Digg stood up straight. They all stared at her, eyes blinking slowly. 

“I saw it in a movie once,” she explained, seeming to mistake their stares for confusion. 

Without even thinking, Oliver replied to appease her, “Maybe that’s something we can learn and practice later.”

Diggle chuckled, looking between the two of them, and Roy mouthed a “wow” before turning back to his target practice. 

Registering his words, somehow eliciting no real response from Felicity outside of a smile, Oliver ran a hand through his hair and said, “I think that’s enough for today.”

“Whew. Good. I am STARVING. I think I might even be earning a six pack, in which case I need to celebrate with _two_ scoops of ice-cream for dessert.”

Oliver snuffed a laugh, and tried not to stare when Felicity untied her hair, blonde locks falling down as she ran her fingers through them, her neck stretching side to side, eyes closed. 

When she opened her eyes she caught him staring, and color painted her cheeks. 

“I’m just gonna…” she pointed to the exit and started walking backwards. It was obvious she was trying to keep from grinning ear to ear, which in turn just made Oliver smile. 

After she left, Diggle approached Oliver. 

“I don’t mean to pry, but what’s going on there?” Digg asked in a half-whisper to keep the conversation private, even though Roy was on the other side of the room. 

Oliver turned to him, going from smile to stern in 2.5 seconds. He opened his mouth to object to anything Diggle was implying, but was interrupted.

“Don’t even try, man,” Digg said with a knowing half-smile.

“It’s complicated,” was all Oliver could muster.

“What isn’t with you?” 

“Yeah, well, all the more reason for me to avoid crossing any lines.” He looked back at the door, his mind’s eye seeing her there still. “I’m not good for her.” It was said more to himself. 

“But she’s good for you.” Digg left it at that, raising his eyebrows sagely before he walked over to pick up his things from the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the reviews and kudos on the first part of this series of events! I hope you continue to enjoy it. :)


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurel and Felicity have a talk; Felicity tells Oliver more about her life before; news from Central City.

>>>\---------------------------------->

Felicity missed Sara. Not only because she considered her a friend, but it was weird being the only girl again amongst three boys. She’d grown up with boys, so it wasn’t strange for her. However, it had been nice having a girl friend that she knew had her back.

Laurel came around from time to time, but there was a tension between them that she felt might never resolve. After all, when Slade had taken them both, Laurel was left with the impression that Felicity was the one Oliver was there to save in the first place. Felicity wasn’t sure how much Oliver had clarified with Laurel regarding The Plan since then, and she didn’t feel it was her place to clear the air.

Although it seemed as though the history between Oliver and Laurel was resolving, a friendship based on love and history in the works, Felicity knew it had to have hurt. She also imagined that Felicity being the woman in his life to have found out about his identity first, instead of Laurel or even family, was hard to process. 

But they were pleasant towards each other. Laurel seemed to recognize how important Felicity was to him, how essential she was to the team, and perhaps even knew how close Sara and Felicity had become before she left. If nothing else, they had an understanding, and shared a common interest in helping Oliver. 

“Hey.” Laurel peeked her head into the office, eyes scanning the room. 

Felicity looked up from her monitor. “Hey!”

“Is Ollie here?” Laurel asked, taking two steps into the room before stopping. 

“In a meeting. I can drag him out if you need him.” Felicity reached over to the phone, a finger hovering over the paging button. 

“No, no. That’s fine. I actually wanted to talk to you,” she said.

“Oh! Um, okay. Here? Or…”

“Here is fine, it will only take a second.” Laurel took two more steps forward, still hesitant. 

God, this is awkward. 

“You can sit down. I don’t bite!” Felicity laughed at her lame attempt at levity, although the idea of anyone being intimidated by her was genuinely funny to her. 

Laurel offered a smile before approaching Felicity’s desk and sitting down in the chair in front of it. 

“So...What’s up?” Felicity started.

“You spend more time with him than I do, so I wanted to ask...Is Ollie okay? I’ve asked him myself, and he says he is but...I mean, after everything that’s happened. His mom, Thea, Slade, Sara...I just...I’d be in pieces. I’ve been in pieces.”

“He’s...okay. As okay as he can be, I think. Oliver is a man of few words, so I can’t say he’s spoken much about it, but...he’s managing. Walks around all stern-faced. Shoots things with his arrows a lot. Doesn’t sleep much.”

Laurel’s eyes widened, and Felicity winced at the implication. 

“Not that I know first hand!” She held up a palm in protest.

A friendly smile played at Laurel’s lips, and in that moment Laurel reminded her of Sara. 

_“You’re cute.”_

“Well, if it seems like he might need another friend, just...let me know. I won’t pretend to know what he’s going through, but I’ve done my fair share of questionable coping. I want him to know I’m here if he needs me.”

“He knows, Laurel. I’m sure he’ll...emote when he’s ready.”

Laurel stood up, and pulled some papers from her briefcase. “I have a few things for him to look over and sign.” She placed the documents in front of Felicity. She offered another small smile before turning toward the door. She paused a moment before turning back around, her expression indicating she was struggling with whether to say something or not. 

“I’ve been seeing someone,” Laurel said suddenly. 

Felicity looked confused as to why Laurel felt the need to tell her this news. Given the effort it took for Laurel to say something, however, Felicity beamed at her. 

“That’s great!” she said. 

Does Oliver know? 

“I haven’t told Ollie, since I don’t really know how to bring it up, but...I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh.” 

Why?

“I’m without a sister again, at least for now, and I know you two were close. So.” She shrugged. “Also, I just want Oliver to be happy.”

Suddenly, Felicity realized that in her own way Laurel was giving Felicity her blessing, while also opening the door to being a surrogate sister to her. 

Unable to muster much else, Felicity simply said, “Me too.”

With a nod, Laurel turned again and walked out, leaving Felicity to process everything alone.

>>>\---------------------------------->

After trying to fall asleep for the third time that night, twice having woken up from night terrors, Oliver gave up and decided to workout at the lair.

It was 3am, and the city was quiet. He was more centrally located now in his new loft, so he chose to walk. The air was humid, and dogs barked in the distance. During the day, clean-up crews and builders were hard at work, but at night the city was almost like Oliver had left it seven years before. Sometimes he wondered if coming back had done more harm than good. 

When he got inside the building, he saw a light was on in the main quarters and a voice echoing off the walls. Alert, he quietly made his way around the corner to look in. 

“I’m so fancy, you already know...” Felicity was swaying in her chair, shoes off and her hair in a bun on top of her head, singing along with music in her earbuds. She had a blue t-shirt and jeans on, with her ever-present black-brown rimmed glasses. “...remember my name…” she continued singing. 

Oliver smiled, and got out of fight mode. He slowly walked into the room.

“Felicity.”

No response. 

“Felicity.” A little louder.

Nothing. 

Eventually he reached her and gave her a tap on the shoulder. She jumped, hitting her knees against the console. 

“Ah! Shit!” she yelled, pulling her earbuds out and turning around before grabbing her knees. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he said kneeling down in front of her, swiveling her chair so she was directly facing him. He reached out and rubbed her knees for her.

“No, no. It’s fine. I should have expected you any minute, since it’s,” she looked at the wall clock, “3:30am. What are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the same question,” he said.

“Backing up data so I could update one of the server racks, and maybe reconfigure the RAID configuration.”

He shook his head. He wanted to remind her that A.R.G.U.S. had a whole team of tech professionals to help with every bit of technology they had provided them, but he knew she would sooner lose a leg before letting them touch Oracle. 

Yes, she had named her computer. 

“I will take your word for it since I have no idea what you just said.”

“Your turn, buster.”

He stood up and leaned against the console. “Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d workout to clear my head.”

“It’s not easy being green,” she said, tilting her head and smiling. 

One of the many things Oliver could count on Felicity for was not pitying him. It wasn’t due to a lack of understanding or compassion, she just knew that in spite of all of the things that had happened to him and those he loved in the last several years that he simply didn’t want it. Her ability to keep his spirits up and not allow for even a moment of darkness to linger for long was the true reason he never wanted her leave this team.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and smiled back.

“And why are you doing all of this so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

He tipped his head to the side, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “Everything okay?”

Nothing had been said, but he often wondered if she had nightmares like him now. Felicity had experienced so many brushes with death, he couldn’t blame her if sleeping didn’t come so easily to her anymore. 

“Yeah, I just…” She sighed. “I talked to my mom last night and…” There was an internal struggle weighing on her, he could see it in her eyes. Felicity didn’t like to talk about her life before Starling City much. Oliver was learning that it wasn’t a matter of keeping people out, but that she had left New York and then Boston for a reason. She sighed then, resting her elbow on the console and perching her chin atop her closed hand. “I’ve never told you but…”

Oliver took a moment to drag a chair over so he could give her his undivided attention.

“My brother, Ronnie, he went missing almost six years ago today. Well, yesterday. Afghanistan.”

“I’m sorry, Felicity. I didn’t know. Army?”

“Marines.”

He’d done a lot of research on Diggle and Felicity before he exposed his secret to them, ultimately making them the team they were today. She’d always been the enigma of the two, however, with little beyond education on record. He always had a feeling she’d made her past intentionally hard to look into.

“Does Digg know about this?”

“No. Well, kind of. It came up one night when you were patrolling. We were talking about him and Lyla in Afghanistan. I mentioned my brother had been close to their camp. He doesn’t know Ronnie is M.I.A. though.

“He’s my oldest brother, by six years, and he joined the Marines right after high school. He’d always wanted to do something for the greater good, you know?”

Oliver recognized that similarity between her and her lost sibling.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I was in my junior year of college when we got the news. My mom took it really hard, and my other brother Jason had to hold her together since I was in Massachusetts. I went home for a little while, of course, but I couldn’t stay or I’d lose my scholarship. My already rocky relationship with my mom kind of plummeted from there.”

Her eyes were filling with tears, but she wasn’t allowing them to fall. 

“Despite that, every year, on that day, we talk on the phone.”

“How come you never mentioned this before now?” Oliver moved his chair closer to her. 

She lifted a shoulder, shaking her head. “I’ve always felt bad for leaving her. It was a selfish moment in my life, and I’m not proud of it. So concerned about my scholarship that I couldn't stay, then to come here right after MIT. And with my dad having left all of us….” She sniffled and gave a heavy sigh. “When I applied for Queen Consolidated and got the offer to work for Walter, I couldn’t turn it down. It was a now or never moment, and I needed to save myself. I knew if I didn’t do it then, I would never leave.”

“Before you say another word...” He bent his head down, trying to get her to look him in the eyes. “Hey, listen to me,” he said gently, hooking a finger under her chin to direct her face to his. “Before you say another word, you are the least selfish person I have ever known, and if leaving is what you needed to do then I’m sure your family understands. Even your mom.”

“I’m glad I didn’t turn it down,” she said, smiling despite the tears beginning to brim again. 

“Of all of the things you could be doing, and you could be doing anything, why Starling City?”

Felicity laughed, shrugging. “I liked the name.”

“Well,” he laid a hand against her cheek, “I’m glad you didn’t turn it down either.”

She fell into him then, and he wrapped his arms around her. It was as if the last few weeks had twisted him into knots, and in that moment he unraveled. He breathed her in; she smelled like sunflowers. 

A sudden hum filled the room, coming from the server room and a beep sounded from the console. 

“Server update a success,” she mumbled into his chest. 

He chortled before reluctantly releasing her. 

“I think I might be able to sleep now,” he said. 

“Yeah, me too.”

Oliver stood up and pushed his chair to the side, offering a hand out to her. “Come on,” he said, “I’ll walk you home.”

>>>\---------------------------------->

They’d found Thea. Much to Felicity’s chagrin, she’d had to enlist the assistance of A.R.G.U.S. to do it, but they had found her. She was in Central City, which would have been a relief had it not been coupled with the revelation that Malcolm Merlyn was alive.

Oliver wasn’t taking that last bit of news well at all, so he was taking it out on the wooden dummy. Digg was perched on the console next to Felicity, both of them watching him. They didn’t want to leave him alone, but they also didn’t want to step in either. Roy had left immediately following the news. Concern that he might try to bring her back himself was Felicity’s first thought, but Roy was also smart, and she knew that he knew trying to take on Malcolm Merlyn was a suicide mission at this point. His absence from the scene before them was likely due to a walk through the city, probably to talk to Sin. 

Curse words were flying from Oliver’s mouth with each punch and kick, with one kick leading to a wooden arm splitting in half. Felicity winced, but popped up from her chair a second later.

“That should do it,” she said. He stopped, his chest rising and falling quickly with his heavy breathing as she approached him. “You’ve shown Frank here who’s boss, and the last thing we need is you injuring yourself on an inanimate object.”

“I should have known,” he said.

“Seeing how you thought you’d killed him, I don’t think this falls on you,” Digg chimed in. 

Felicity grabbed a water bottle and tossed it to Oliver. He took a long swig from it, wiped his face with a towel, and then threw both items to the ground harder than was necessary. 

“Listen,” Felicity started, trying to maintain an air of calm. “I know you’re jumping to 100 different conclusion right now, but find some peace in the fact that Merlyn, being her father, is not going to want to hurt her.”

Oliver shook his head. “Be that as it may, she’s angry. And to turn to him? To decide HE is the one person in her life she can trust? What could that possibly mean for her? He was in the League, for Christ’s sake. God only knows what he’s teaching her.”

From the console, Felicity’s phone chirped. She was going to ignore it, but Digg looked down at it and back to her, his eyes wide. She took just a few strides to reach it.

“Well, the news just keeps on coming…” she said, staring at her screen.

Oliver looked at them both.

“Looks like we have another reason to take a trip to Central City. Barry is awake.”

>>>\---------------------------------->

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding Felicity's brother -- this is something I made my own head-canon before learning about her father. I tried to get rid of it from my head, but I wanted to keep it. I feel like there are more abandonment issues in Felicity's life than that of her father, so I wanted to keep with it. Also, while I know Las Vegas was dropped this season as maybe where Felicity is from, I am going off the idea that she was born in Las Vegas, but moved to New York (since Felicity in the comics is from NYC). I'll touch on that a little bit more later. 
> 
> Laurel is dating a dude named Craig (based on Dinah Lance's first husband in the comics); I won't be mentioning it again but FYI.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity runs into someone at the coffee shop; Oliver gives Felicity an archery lesson.

>>>\---------------------------------->

It was a latte kind of morning, so Felicity stopped by Radu’s Coffee Shop before heading to QC. Being a Monday, the line was long and impatience came off in waves from those in front of and behind her. It helped that her daytime job was a complete ruse, and her “boss” was actually her crime-fighting partner by night, so she leisurely scanned Reddit from her phone as the line snailed along.

It had been one week since Oliver had gone to Central City. Even though he knew she would want to see how Barry was doing, Oliver had asked Felicity to stay behind. Given Thea and Merlyn were there as well, and Cisco reporting back that Barry was “different”, Oliver wanted to check things out first. 

Felicity spoke with Caitlin shortly after receiving the text, saying Barry had woken up like he’d just been sleeping -- nothing wrong with him, and in fact in peak condition. They were still running some tests, but the lightning strike appeared to have made some...alterations to his physiology. When Caitlin told her that he’d asked about her, she smiled, but then she remembered Iris and then Oliver, and realized that their lives were very different now. Where did they even fit? She wasn’t sure she was ready to find out.

So she agreed to stay behind, though in the end it hadn’t taken much convincing after all. 

When Oliver returned, he told Felicity that Barry being different was an understatement. Barry was fast now. Super fast. And both she and Oliver were still trying to wrap their minds around it. 

_“Wow,” was all she could manage when he told her, but she smiled knowing how incredible Barry must feel. That Oliver was there, to encourage him to be the hero that Barry had always wanted to be was ultimately comforting._

_“I’d understand if you want to go visit him,” he said to her. There was a tightness to his voice that suggested something. Felicity immediately assumed it was insecurity, but pushed the thought aside. Of all of the words in this world, “insecure” did not coordinate with Oliver._

_Although she appreciated him saying as much, she didn’t actually feel like she needed to see Barry. Not right now. He was okay. He had Caitlin, Cisco and Iris. If he needed her, she’d be here, with Oliver. She’d give him a call when things slowed down for him. Ha._

_“I think I’m good with staying here,” she said, smiling at him. Reassuring him? “Did you find Thea?” she asked._

_“No. I saw Merlyn, though. Dressed head to toe in his Dark Archer suit. He found me, really.”_

_“What happened?” Her eyes widened and she turned herself full-body to him._

_“Nothing,” he said. “He was standing on an opposite rooftop from me, after I left Barry. Just looking at me. Next thing I knew, he was gone. He knows we know he’s alive now, and probably that we know he has Thea.” Worry tainted every word coming from his mouth, tinged with anger._

_“Good,” she said. “I’m glad he knows he can’t hide from us any longer.”_

_Oliver looked at her. Without much thought, he leaned over and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Where would I be without you?”_

_“Lost forever, no doubt,” she said. She bumped his shoulder with hers. “I could really eat something right about now. Wanna eat?”_

_He bobbed his head once in affirmation._

_“Pizza?” she asks._

_“Pizza.”_

“Miss. Miss? We don’t have pizza.” The barista waved his hand in front of her, and she snapped her attention to him. 

“Yes!” She said a little a too loudly, looking around to see if the whole cafe was staring at her now. “Yes,” she whispered. “Sorry. Small vanilla latte. Soy. Extra shot.”

She gave her name, paid, and stood to the side to wait, accidentally bumping someone in the process.

“Sorry,” she said. 

It was a tall man, with dark brown hair and a gray suit on. “Not your fault,” he said. “I apologize.” He had an English accent, and was looking down at his smart phone, studying it closely. 

“Actually,” he started, looking up with green eyes. His confused brow popped up, and a smile spread across his face. He cleared his throat. “Actually, you may be able to help me. I seem to be a bit lost.”

“Oh, yeah. I sense you’re not from around here,” she quipped. 

“What makes you say that?” he asked, his face suddenly straight, head tilted. 

“Um, well...the...your accent? Maybe I...Sorry,” she stumbled, not quite sure what to say and feeling confused and ridiculous all at once. 

He smiled at her again. “Kidding. Yes. You are correct. I am not from around here. Just moved here actually, and I am supposed to be starting my new job.”

“I’m guessing you did not come across the pond to sling coffee?”

“Not quite. Journalist. I’m trying to find the Starling City Sentinel.” 

“Small Vanilla Soy Latte, extra shot, for Felicity!” the barista yelled. 

Felicity smiled and said thank you before grabbing her beverage. She took a sip before stepping to the side with the stranger. 

“Felicity,” he said. “Edward Rockwell.” He reached out a hand to shake hers, and she took it. 

“Nice to meet you, Edward.” She smiled at him, and noticed his dimples as he smiled back again. 

“You’re actually not too far from it,” she finally said, noticing a little too late that she’d been staring at his face and hadn’t let go of his hand. “In fact, it’s right across from my building, so if you want to walk with me--”

“Yes,” he said, eagerly. The quick response made her grin, and she felt her face get warm. Feeling her face get warm made it get warmer. Edward politely did not comment. 

Before leaving, he refilled his cup at the coffee bar.

“So, how long have you been here?” she asked as they exited. 

“The states or Starling City?” He held the door open for her. 

“Both.”

“I came here for university and went to Washington State for four years, and then had a small editing job for a few years afterward. Moved here four days ago, after a Skype interview last week. They seemed to have a lot of openings and pretty eager to hire, so hopefully that isn’t a bad sign. ”

_We tend to have a large death toll once a year, followed by a mass exodus, but other than that…_

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she said.

“What about you? What do you do?”

_Oh boy._

“Well,” she pointed to the left once they reached 3rd Street, and they rounded the corner. “I work at Queen Consolidated.”

Vague, but not a lie.

“Doing…” he pressed. 

Felicity realized then and there why she didn’t have many friends outside of Oliver and Diggle. There weren’t a lot of things regarding her everyday life that were easy to bring into casual conversation. She knew she could say she was a receptionist, but she also felt the urge to impress Edward with what she actually was able to do and DID do every day. 

“Computers. Internet. Technology...things.”

_Good job, Felicity._ She made a mental note to kick herself later.

“I went to MIT,” she added. 

“Very nice,” he replied. His expression was a mix between amusement and being genuinely impressed. “Smart and beautiful.”

Felicity felt her face get warm again, but kept her eyes forward, offering a polite smile in thanks.

Five minutes later they made it to the intersection of their buildings. In that time she had managed to talk his ear off, filling him in on every Starling City detail up to two years before -- childhood trauma, Team Arrow, and government hacking aside. She even filled him in on The Glades and recent attack, from a spectator point of view anyway. His eyebrows were up to his hairline by the end.

“Here we are! That’s you,” she pointed to her left, “and this is me.”

“Thank you for walking with me, Felicity…”

“Smoak.”

“Felicity Smoak. It’s been a pleasure making your acquaintance.”

“Likewise,” she said, feigning and failing an English accent.

He looked at her a moment, a comfortable silence between them, before he started to turn away. 

“Good luck on your first day!” she said. 

“Thank you,” he said, and began to walk up the steps. He stopped on the third step, and turned back around. He stepped back down to her. 

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I’d like to continue to get to know you, Felicity.”

This was not what she’d expected when she woke up this morning. She felt her mouth fall open, but nothing came out. Blinking a couple of times, jump-starting her brain back to it’s full functionality, she managed to say, “Oh. I...Um...”

“Oh god, you’re seeing someone,” he said, his mouth pulled back in a grimace. 

“No!” she blurted. “I’m just…”

And that was when she realized that she didn’t know what to do regarding Oliver. 

He loved her. She knew this much. How much was another mystery, and whether he was truly in love was yet to be determined as well, but he loved her. There was promise there for something more, but when? How much of her life should she put on hold in the meantime?

“How about this,” Edward said, interrupting her internal struggle. He set his cup down on the building steps, reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a pen. “I give you my number, and if you decide you would like to grab a cup of coffee together again, let me know?”

Edward reached out for her hand and she let him have it.“Okay,” she conceded, as he wrote down the last two digits. 

“Great.” He clapped his hands together once before bending to pick up his cup again. “Then perhaps I will talk you later, Felicity Smoak.”

He made his way up the stairs, and she stood at the foot of the building a few minutes after he walked into the front doors. 

When she finally turned away, there was a smile firmly planted on her face.

“Felicity Smoak,” she said to herself, mimicking his accent.

>>>\---------------------------------->

Felicity was throwing punches and kicks at the punching bag, while Oliver did a HIIT workout to the other side of her. It was just the two of them.

Roy was patrolling with Sin, getting more of an inside look at what was going on on the streets in order to report back. Although Roy was a familiar face to the police these days, given everything he had done while drugged on mirakuru, he also had access and inside knowledge to things that Oliver, Diggle and Felicity otherwise wouldn’t. 

Diggle was out with Lyla. She was six months into her pregnancy now, and he was spending as much time with her as possible. While Diggle was still active with Team Arrow, he also was assisting more and more with A.R.G.U.S. Lyla was unable to be as active, so he was partnering with her on anything Waller assigned.

Felicity delivered a smooth roundhouse to the punching bag, just as Oliver approached her from the side. He was holding one of his bows and quiver. 

“Come here,” he said. 

As he walked away, she took off her punching gloves and threw them to the side. Half-skipping, she caught up to him. 

“Whatcha doin’?” she asked.

“ _You_ are going to start learning how to shoot an arrow,” he said.

They walked until they were both positioned directly in front of his target practice, and he set down the bow. 

Felicity tried to contain her excitement. “Really?”

“Yes,” he said. “Now, don’t get any ideas. The computer is still your weapon. But learning how to shoot might come in handy and I want you to feel confident doing it.”

She grinned and jumped up and down. “I get to shoot the arrow,” she said in a sing-song voice. 

“Okay, so,” he moved beside her. “Stand here.” She moved to stand in front of him as they faced the target. “Now, put this armguard on so the bowstring doesn’t rub your skin too much.”

She took the armguard as he continued instructions.

“Since you’re right-handed--”

“Ambidextrous,” she corrected him without thinking. “But I favor my right.” She slipped the armguard onto her right forearm.

His lips pulled up in an amused smile as he turned himself slightly to the side, just to the left of her. “Good, so do I.” He reached out to her, placing his hands gently on both sides of her hips. “Stand perpendicular to the target,” he moved her, adjusting her ever-so-slightly so that she was stanced alongside him, mirroring him. Although she was where she needed to be, his hands didn’t move for several seconds. 

“That good?” she asked. 

Oliver turned his head, his chin brushing across the top of her head as he heaved a sigh. “Perfect.”

He cleared his throat, pulling away to grab the bow from the ground.

“Now, take the bow into your left hand. You’ll want to always carry it in your left so that your right hand is free to grab an arrow.”

Felicity took the bow with her left hand, bobbing it a little to adjust to the weight. This bow was heavier than his old one, which she had held briefly before. He had several to choose from anymore, and this one was one of the more standard designs, different from the one she'd given him. She rubbed her thumb across the grip and squeezed, acquainting herself with its curves. 

He positioned himself back behind her, close but not touching. Reaching behind him into his quiver, he drew an arrow, and brought his arm around her right shoulder before dropping his hand down to hers. Without his cue, she took the arrow from his hand, but he maintained contact with her arm. 

Felicity licked her lips and cleared her throat.

“Now what?” she asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. 

A hand brushed her hip. “Make sure your feet stay shoulder width. Point your left shoulder to the target.”

She did.

“Good.” He reached his left arm to her left. “Keep the bow pointing down, and we’re going to position the arrow.”

With his right hand around hers, they both brought her right arm over to the bow. 

“There’s a groove in the bow called the arrow rest. With your hand at the base of the arrow, place the shaft of the arrow in that groove. This will help you keep the arrow in line. And then you’ll put the feather end against this bow, on the nock.” He positions her fingers on how to hold the bow, her index finger above the arrow, her middle and ring finger below. 

His mouth was hovering just above her ear now, bending his knees a little so he could move her through the setup at her height. She could feel the heat of his breath, and her heart was pounding; his was too. 

“Now for the hard part,” he said. 

“I thought shooting the arrow was the hard part?” she asked, genuinely. 

“Nope. Learning how to raise the bow and arrow together, and in a steady motion and positioning, that’s the most important and takes the most practice.”

“When I’m backflipping off of a building while shooting, I’ll get back to you on that,” she quipped, and his chest rumbled behind her. 

Oliver moved in closer, pressing his cheek against hers. “Without any tension, and as relaxed as possible, I want you to bring the bow up with the arrow, pulling the string back and raising the bow until your elbow is parallel to the ground and the string is at your cheek. Your cheek is your anchor point.”

Felicity managed to almost drop the arrow three or four times, her arms shaking a little as she pulled back the string. “I believe you now,” she said. 

“You’ll get used to it,” he assured her, his arms no longer touching hers but shadowing her movements. 

Eventually she managed to get her position down. 

“How does that feel?” he asked. 

“Awesome, actually.”

He moved into her again, his face coming down to hers so their eyes were parallel. “The bow is going to do most of the work from here, you just need to aim and let go.” His eyes shifted to her face for a fraction of a second, and he saw her tongue sticking out a little between her teeth, focused on the task at hand.

Close to her ear again, he lowered his voice, “Don’t worry about a bulls-eye, we just want you to get used to aiming and shooting. Precision can come later.”

“Got it,” she whispered.

“Close your left eye. Look down the shaft of the arrow with your right, through the sight window of the bow as you line it up with the target.”

As she looked through the sight window, he looked down the shaft with her. Once confident she had it where she needed it, he said, “Now release your hand from the arrow and string.”

The arrow soared, and while she didn’t hit the center of the target, she hit the outer circle of the target board. 

“I did it!” Felicity threw her arms in the air in triumph, bow still in hand. Oliver stood straight again, still behind her. She spun around, throwing her arms around his neck. As he wrapped his arms around her in response, a feeling of pride swept over him. 

When she pulled away, their proximity lingered. Her big smile collapsed a little as she looked at him, their eyes locked. His heart began to slam against his chest. 

He wanted to kiss her. 

This wasn't a new feeling to him. He’d stopped himself before, and he would stop himself this time. 

Or so he told himself, but like gravity her wide blue eyes were pulling him towards her and he began to question how much self-control he possessed when it came to her anymore. His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she mirrored the movement as his face inched closer. 

A door clicked, and Roy’s voice echoed through the hall. “We have a few gangs that are starting to plan some small-time shit, but other than--”

Oliver and Felicity jumped back from each other, but not before Roy came through the doorway. 

“Whoa!” he said. “Sorry! I didn't see anything.”

Which was usually what someone said when they saw something. 

“I shot an arrow!” Felicity yelled, a little too loudly. “Oliver was just…”

“Congratulating you?” Roy smirked at them. “I’m just reporting back, guys. I’ll get out of your hair and let you two get back to ‘shooting arrows.’” He made sure to include finger quotes. 

As Roy left the room, Oliver grabbed the bow from Felicity. “You can practice more later, now that you know the basics.”

He was closing in on himself again, that moment of weakness having passed. 

Felicity turned as he walked over to the armory to store his bow and quiver. The dismissal of what had almost happened, knowing it wasn’t in her head, caused her throat to tighten. 

When he closed the doors, he didn't even look at her as he picked up his belongings. “I think I’ll shower and head out, if you want to keep with your workout,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He rounded the corner, out of sight, and a single tear fell down her cheek. She swiped at it angrily. 

Was this really how it was always going to be?

Felicity turned back to the punching bag, unleashing her frustration on it. She forgot to put her gloves back on, so when her skin started to crack she forced herself to stop. Sweat poured down her faced as she collapsed to the floor, next to her phone. 

The green message light was blinking, so she unlocked it. It was from Oliver. 

“I’m sorry,” it read. 

She threw her head back to rest on the wall behind her, unleashing a sigh, deliberating a response. Tapping at the screen, she’d made her decision. 

The other line started ringing. 

“Edward,” a voice answered. 

“Hey, it’s Felicity. How about that coffee?”

>>>\---------------------------------->

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to pretend to know what's going to happen with Merlyn next season (though I have theories about Thea), so he's more an ominous presence in this story than anything. 
> 
> Stay tuned for angst, angst, angst!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Edward start dating; Oliver doesn't cope well.

>>>\---------------------------------->

Felicity was nervous, to say the least.

Instead of coffee, she and Edward were going to meet for lunch. She was counting down the minutes from her desk. T-minus 3 minutes until she needed to head downstairs. One leg was bobbing up and down feverishly, which wound up catching the attention of Oliver in his office. 

They hadn’t even mentioned the previous night. It was business as usual, though Oliver was walking on eggshells all morning around her, even bringing _her_ coffee.

“Are you trying to sound the alarm for an earthquake?” he asked as he walked to her desk. 

She reached down to physically halt her leg from making another move. 

“Nope, just...listening to some music.”

Oliver looked at her skeptically, clearly taking note that there were no earphones in her ears. 

He let it slide, coming closer and lowering his voice. “Listen, Felicity, about las--”

“Gotta go!” she said, jumping from her seat. 

He seemed taken aback as she grabbed her purse, locked her computer and made for the door. 

“Where?” 

He sounded incredulous that she had a life outside of him. Which, to be fair, was mostly true, given she only actively had three friends anymore. Suffice to say, his sudden interest given the previous night bothered her. 

“Lunch?”

“With who?”

His sudden curiosity was annoying her, noticeably, but Oliver didn’t seem to want to back down. 

“Edward.” She meant to leave it at that, and turned to leave. 

“Who is Edward?” he pressed.

She blew out a long breath of air before turning on her heel to face him again. “Rockwell. He’s from England. He’s a journalist. And he wants to get to go know me, and I am letting him get to know me. So we are having lunch.” She flicked her hands open towards him in a ‘tada!’ motion. 

“Like a date?”

‘Yes, Oliver! Like a date!”

Her eyes were daring him to have a problem with it, and he didn’t take the bait, although his jaw was clenched as he visibly fought not to say anything. 

Satisfied he had no more questions, she sauntered out the door.

>>>\---------->

And the date was wonderful. Had Edward not had to get back to work, they would have talked longer.

She told him about being born in Las Vegas, but growing up in Albany with her two brothers. She didn’t tell him about her dad leaving or her oldest brother missing or her complicated relationship with her mother. She told him about falling in love with computers when she was seven; graduating high school a year early and getting a full ride to MIT. She told him how she almost joined the CIA, but decided to move to the west coast because she needed a change in scenery.

He laughed at her bad puns and jokes. He told her about growing up in Bristol with his three younger sisters. He told her he’d always been fascinated by American culture and writing so he moved in order to write about American culture. He told her about backpacking through Europe before moving to Washington. He insisted she call him Ed. He told her about being three months out of a two year relationship, and how nervous asking her out had made him, but how happy he was he had. 

“Me too,” she said. 

“You’re pretty amazing, Felicity Smoak. I’d love to take you out for dinner.”

It was strange how available he was to her, which she then realized was a weird thing to think was strange. She considered him a moment, taking in his dark features and easy smile. 

“I’d love you to take me out for dinner,” she told him. She gave herself a mental pat on the back for how smooth she had managed to respond to him. 

“Fantastic.” He checked his watch. “I guess I better head back in. I’ll call you?”

She nodded. He gave her a peck on the cheek, before walking off.

While she _could_ have headed straight back to the office, she decided to dawdle a while longer. The city was actually looking incredible these days. There were new shops popping up along Main Street, so she stopped into a few of them to browse. She bought a book. 

When she made it back to the office, Oliver was standing at one of his outside windows, looking towards the city. His arms were crossed, and his shoulders tense. As he turned around, she was back at her desk and about to sit again. 

He walked into her area again, about to say something when some businessmen walked into the room at the same time. 

“Your two o’clock is here,” she announced. 

She saw him breathe a big sigh, looking at her before turning to the men.

“Gentlemen,” he said, ushering them into the meeting room with a forced smile.

Once the long meeting was over, she was gone.

>>>\---------------------------------->

Felicity and Ed had been dating for about a month, with three dates in that time and a lot of phone calls. They met for coffee a few times a week as well, since they worked so close together.

She was happy, despite other goings on. Merlyn was becoming a more obvious presence, and there was something bigger he was planning on the horizon, so they were preparing for as much. Roy was adapting better with the team dynamic, and had his own hero suit now instead of the cotton hoodie -- also red. 

Unfortunately, the balance was off between her and Oliver. She was at a loss of what to do about it. Ed came up in conversation from time to time, and while Oliver feigned interest with a clenched jaw, it never felt right talking to him about her love life so she avoided it if possible.

Oliver had just changed from his Arrow garb, Roy was putting away his bow, while Felicity started shutting down the monitors. Diggle was helping her shutdown as well.

Felicity’s phone chirped, and she picked it up to read the message from Ed. She laughed, and Oliver turned to see what at, his brows furrowing immediately as she looked at her phone. 

She held her phone up to her face and took a picture of herself, her dimples on full display and her eyes twinkling. 

“Did you just take a picture of yourself?” Oliver asked.

Her smiled dropped at his tone, which was bordering on mad. 

“Yeah. I was sending it to Ed, he ask--”

“So you took a picture of yourself, in the top secret lair that he doesn’t know about. That he can’t know about,” he clarified, walking towards her slowly. 

Roy and Diggle were still as statues, unsure of how they should be responding to the sudden change in atmosphere. 

“He can’t see anything, Oliver.” She flipped her phone to him to show him, but he didn’t look away from her. “And someday he might know about--”

“No,” he interrupted. “He won’t. He’s a journalist, Felicity. He finds out about this and it’s only a matter of time before he decides to write about it. THINK!” He brought his index finger up, jabbing his temple for emphasis.

Felicity swallowed a lump in her throat, her body pulled back in shock. She looked from Roy and Diggle, back to Oliver. 

“What the hell is your problem?” she asked, moving in on him. It was a lost effort to try and keep this conversation between them at this point, but she it came out in a harsh whisper in hopes to keep Roy and Diggle out of it. 

It was like Barry Allen all over again, except worse, and she knew it had nothing to do with her role and presence to the team this time. 

Diggle was walking over to step in, but Felicity looked at him. Her expression conveyed that this was between her and Oliver this time, and he nodded in understanding. She saw him grab Roy by the arm, dragging him towards the exit. Oliver’s gaze hadn’t budged from her face. 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I should feel bad for sharing my life with someone other than you!” She turned away from him then. “This isn’t about me, Oliver. It’s about you.”

Felicity grabbed her purse, storming out of the room before he could get in another word.

>>>\---------------------------------->

As she slipped her left heel on, Felicity heard a knock at the door. She was meeting Ed at the restaurant, so there were only a handful of people it could be.

“Coming!” 

When she opened the door, she wasn’t exactly surprised. Oliver stood there, his hands in his pockets. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“It’s my night off. Did something happen?”

While they’d had the agreement since before Ed that she got two nights off a week, she was always of the understanding that if she was needed she would drop everything. Diggle was becoming more proficient with the basics of her system, and they had A.R.G.U.S team members available if he couldn’t handle it or wasn’t around. 

“No, I just wanted to swing by to talk for a second.”

She sighed, but opened the door the rest of the way, letting him in. “You have five minutes,” she said. 

“Date tonight?” he asked, and he was kind about it. His voice was tense, but he was trying to care, and she appreciated the effort despite his lack thereof in recent weeks. 

“Yeah, we’re, uh, trying that new Italian place on Main Street.”

“You look great.” He motioned up and down with his hand at her body.. 

Her hair was down, and her glasses off. The navy dress was hugging her curves; simple, but elegant. She was wearing pearl earrings and gold heels. Her lips were bold and bright red. 

“Thank you.”

A few moments passed as he circled the room, gathering his thoughts. She stayed in the same spot, waiting for him to say what he’d come here to say, arms crossed. 

“Listen. I’m not proud of the way I’ve been treating you regarding...Ed.” The grimace on his face looked like it was physically painful to say the name. 

She nodded, waiting for an apology.

“But you need to understand…” he started, stopping in front of her. He backtracked, clearing his throat. “Felicity, six months ago when you agreed to that insane plan...When I said that I...,” he sighed. “In that moment, saying it to you…” He ran a hand over his head. “Shit,” he whispered to himself. 

Felicity’s heart was pounding against her chest, but she remained still, determined to see this through stoically.

“I love you, Felicity,” he finally said. 

Her arms dropped from in front of chest, and she swallowed. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. 

Perhaps under different circumstances, if there weren’t this tension between them, she wouldn’t have sensed it. While he was telling the truth, and she’d never really thought he was lying before, there was a finality in the way he said those words this time. 

“I believe you,” she managed to say, her voice rough. “But those words are where it begins and ends with you, isn’t it?”

Oliver swallowed the lump in his throat, blinking twice slowly, unable to answer her question. Not wanting to.

He blinked. “That’s where it has to end.”

“God,” she breathed out. “Why would you tell me this now? What good does it do to tell me this when I’m expected to forget about it?”

“I don’t want you to forget about it, I jus--”

“This isn’t how it works, Oliver! You don’t tell someone you love them when they’re with someone else, happy with someone else, and leave it at that. What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” he said, barely audible. 

“What do you _want_ me to do?” she pleaded.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, still unable to look at her. 

“Then what do _you_ want?!”

At that he finally looked her in the eyes. There were tears of frustration brimming, kissing his lashes, as he met her own tear-filled eyes. “It’s _not_ about what I want, Felicity. It’s about what I can want.”

“But why?”

“You know why.”

And she knew he was referring to a long ago conversation, when he told her he could never be with someone he could truly care about. While perhaps not about her at the time, it was about her now. 

“That’s bullshit, Oliver, and you know it. I’m not accepting that, and you shouldn't either.”

He looked at her and breathed a heavy sigh, wanting nothing more than to hold her. 

“This constant denial of what you deserve isn't going to cut it anymore. Using my safety as an excuse is unfair to me and it’s unfair to you. I’ve been the target without being with you, and as long as I am a part of our team that isn't going to change.”

A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she took a breath, her lip quivering before she pressed on.

“I can either be with you in every manner of speaking, or I can give you what you wanted from me from the beginning and nothing more; the rest belongs to me. And if that means I find someone else, then so be it. It’s either going to be me or it’s not.”

His jaw was locked. It wasn’t in anger, he was just doing everything in his power not to tell her that he wanted every facet of her being to be intertwined with him. His life was ruled by promises, promises he intended to keep, and he had promised himself to not be with her. Not now. Maybe never. He was too broken and too dangerous to allow that vulnerability; to taint her with the eddies and dark things that lurked deep within him. 

There were tears streaming down her face, and he could see how angry she was with him. She had every right to be at this point. Her self-worth was too high for him to expect her to wait for him or be content with what he had to offer, as much as he wished she would. 

Felicity brought her hands up to her face, cradling it within them for a moment before swiping her fingers angrily below her eyes to wipe away the moisture.

“I have a date,” was all she said before she turned on her heels, grabbed her purse, and left him alone in her own home.

>>>\---------------------------------->

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't notate it in the last chapter, but Edward Rockwell is based on Edward Raymond (born Edward Rockwell), who Felicity Smoak married in the Firestorm comics. He wasn't British, though, I just decided to give him something Oliver didn't have.
> 
> One more chapter to go!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity makes a decision; Oliver has a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI -- It's going to get sexual up in here.

>>>\---------------------------------->

“Felicity,” Ed said, her hands clasped in his from across the table. His thumb caressed her hand.

She’d been staring at a spot of soup on the tablecloth for an indeterminable amount of time while Ed had told her about a trip coming up. It was his first time traveling for journalism, and the excitement was in every word he told her about it. 

Throughout most of dinner she hadn’t said much, and she could tell that he knew something was wrong. He never pressed, knowing that she would say something if and when she was ready. That in mind, Ed had taken control of most of the conversation, trying and every now and then succeeding to make her laugh. Admittedly, it was usually forced. 

Something he had said about how he enjoyed sharing the experience of his new job with her had triggered her fixation with the circular stain.

“Felicity,” he said again, softer but encouraging her to respond. 

Her eyes lifted to his slowly. He tilted his head in concern, his forehead wrinkling. 

“Something has been bothering you all evening. Is it something I said?”

A humourless laugh left her lips, her eyes watering. 

As if he had ever said one offensive thing to her in the last month. As if he deserved at all for her to be thinking about someone else while he went out of his way to share his life with her. As if her chest wasn’t heavy with the weight of truths left exposed tonight. 

Even if Oliver were to never allow her to be with him, to fully share his life, it hit her in that moment that she wouldn’t be able to grant the same access to Ed into hers. There were secrets she would need to keep because, loathe to admit it, Oliver was right. Ed was a journalist, and his job was telling stories of this city and the world around it. The Arrow was part of this city, and she was part of the Arrow; never to separate. 

Ed moved his chair closer to her, his hand coming up to her cheek. She winced from his touch, and immediately felt horrible for it. 

It wasn’t his fault. 

With hurt written all over his handsome features, he pulled away, confused. She reached out for his hand, determined to not let her pulling away from him be one of his last memories of her. 

Enveloping his hand in both of hers, she looked him square in the eyes. 

“I don’t think we can see each other anymore,” she said. 

“Why?” His eyes were wide with surprise, and rightfully so. Until tonight, there had never been any indication that cause for them no longer seeing each other was in the cards.

She bit her lip. “There are parts of my life that I will never be able to share with you. That I can’t ever let you be a part of. And you deserve someone who can give you every part of themselves.”

These were words she had said to herself in the mirror. 

“I don’t understand,” he said. “Why can’t you--”

She was trying her best to avoid the ‘there is someone else’ card, because he didn’t deserve to think he was second best. In actuality, he was first best, or he could have been in another time and place. He had the will and desire to make her happy and give her everything, and likely without the ever-present fear that he might never come back one night. She knew she deserved that; but he deserved more than what she could ever give him. 

She loved Oliver.

“Please,” she begged, her face falling and her lips pursed. 

The concern on his face made her heart ache, because even though she was breaking up with him, he was worried about her. “Okay,” he said with a nod. 

Having already paid, they stood and left the restaurant. Ed walked her to her car, and kissed her on the cheek. 

“If you ever need to talk...” he said.

She nodded. “I know.”

 

The drive home alone was silent, keeping the radio off. It was starting to rain, and she found comfort in the sound against her windshield. 

When she got home, the porch light was on. She half expected to find Oliver sitting on her sofa when she walked in -- one part of her dreading it, but the rest somewhat hopeful. She was still pissed off at him, although everything said tonight wasn’t really news to her. Hearing it was just harder than she’d prepared herself for, and the fact that she’d hurt a perfectly nice guy in the aftermath only made matters worse. 

Felicity threw her purse on her entry table along with her keys, and slipped off her shoes at the door. She left a trail of clothes as she pulled off her stockings and dress on her way to her bedroom, the promise of a hot bath beyond the doors. On her way to the bathroom, she snagged a bottle of wine from the kitchen, forgoing the glass. 

As she slipped into the bubbles minutes later, taking one large swig from the bottle, she felt every muscle in her body unwind. She sighed heavily as her head rested on the back of the tub. 

“This sucks.”

 

>>>\---------------------------------->

 

Felicity was somewhere between sleepiness and wakefulness, where she felt light but still aware of her surroundings, when she heard the tap on her window. She peeped one eye open, and saw him standing there. Although she saw it was Oliver, only slightly backlit from the streetlights, she was still startled. He wasn’t in his Arrow garb, and in fact wearing what he’d had on earlier-- a gray t-shirt and jeans. 

Briefly she wondered if he had even patrolled tonight.

She was exhausted, emotionally, and unsure if she wanted to let him inside. It only took a second for her to surmise that if she didn’t let him in, she’d be up all night thinking about why he was there and what they would have talked about and putting off the inevitable. Either way, she accepted that sleep wasn’t going to happen tonight. 

She threw off her covers, clad in cupcake boxers and a sky blue tank top, and padded over to the window to unlock it. 

“I have a door, you know,” she said as he climbed inside. 

“I know. I went there first but then I wasn’t sure if you were here and if you were here, I didn’t want to wake you by knocking.”

“Hm. Well, I’m definitely here and I am definitely awake now.” Her voice was riddled with vexation and weariness. 

“How was your date?” There was a bite to the last word, which made matters worse. So she lied. 

“It was wonderful. We didn’t even make it to dinner before he ravished me in the backseat of his car,” she bit back. 

Oliver’s jaw locked, and he rolled his eyes to look at the wall. It wasn’t that he believed her, but she knew the comment and evasion to the question would bother him. 

“God, Oliver.” She heaved a sigh, throwing her hands in the air. “What are you doing here?” she asked, defeated.

“I didn’t like leaving things the way we did, you thinking that what I feel for you isn’t real or like I don’t know what I want. Seeing you with someone else…”

“No,” she said, “no. I didn’t date Ed to make you jealous. I didn’t date him so you could have some kind of epiphany and decide that you actually have feelings for me. I dated Ed because he was a genuinely nice guy who wasn’t hesitating to let me in.”

He looked at her then. “Was? Didn’t?”

_Busted._

Felicity shook her head. “Fine. There is no longer an Ed. Because of you. Is that what you want to hear? That I am incapable of allowing myself to be with someone else because you’re just _there_ all of the time?”

“No, that’s not what I want. And to set the record straight, you dating Ed did not make me realize my feelings for you. That realization came about 11 months ago.”

“And now what?” she asked, her set jaw matching his now. 

Oliver walked to her open bedroom door, and leaned against the door jamb. “Now,” he started, rubbing his hands over his stubble, a humorless laugh escaping almost out of madness. “Now, I’m still just scared.”

“What _exactly_ are you so scared of?” she asked, turning to face him, but keeping her feet planted. 

If she heard him say one more time that he was scared she would get hurt because of him...

“You!” He finally shouted, and she could almost feel the walls shake, making her jump back a little. 

“I’m probably the least intimidating person in the world. Why --”

“No, you’re not.” His voice softened.”You scare shit out of me, Felicity. There is this...light, this overwhelming light that comes from you. You have this brilliance that you allow me to use when you could have such an incredible life outside of all of this- this shit. A safer life. Where you can do the things you do, and not have to hide in the shadows with me.”

“Stop acting like I didn’t choose this! Why do I have to keep telling you? When you came to me, I said I would be gone once we found Walter. Well, I stayed. I stayed because I wanted to. I stayed because there was this bigger picture, this better future that you were allowing me to help create. Every day I wake up knowing that if I die, it was for something good. I’m no safer without you than I am with you. I think Slade proved that together, no matter the stakes, we are capable of something amazing.”

At some point, she had traveled from the other side of the room and was standing in front of him. She was looking up at him, but he was staring straight ahead. Looking down, she saw him rubbing his left fingers together, a habit of his she noticed he took on when he was upset. 

Without looking at her, he said, “I know. I’m realizing now that your safety, while intrinsically important to me, it’s not what’s been holding me back.”

Her shoulders fell slightly as she released some tension. 

“Ever since I realized what I was feeling towards you,” he continued,”I’ve known that if I could ever be with you, I didn’t want to mess it up. I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. You’re smarter than all of us combined, and at the rate of your training you won’t need my help at all defending yourself. I’m a bad person, Felicity. I’m a bad person who happens to do good things. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t hurt me.” Her voice was soft, but each word was flush with power and conviction. “And don’t talk like that by being with me, I am not being with you. You’re so used to being alone, this mentality of still being on that island in survival mode, that you forget to factor in the ‘together’ part of us being together. I’m in it as much as you. I am taking a risk with you. I am every bit as capable of hurting _you_.” She grabbed his face then, her palms at his cheeks, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “And you are not a bad person. You’re flawed and you’re still piecing yourself back together, but you’re good. You have your own light, Oliver, and I see it every day.”

His hands were resting on her hips now, one thumb caressing her hipbone. Her pupils were dilated, and her lips parted. His chest was rising deep and slowly. 

“Oh, fuck it,” she said.

Felicity crushed her lips against his, and Oliver didn’t hesitate for a moment before he pulled her into him. His arms and hands were grappling with every inch of her back and waist, trying to bring her as close to him as possible. Eventually, he just lifted her off the ground, and one of her legs popped up into the air as her arms encircled his shoulders even more. 

His tongue parted her lips, and she granted passage with fervor. Felicity’s hands made their way from his shoulders to his hair, running her fingers through it. One hand went from her hip to under her shirt, caressing the soft flesh of her back. 

Unexpectedly, she pulled away first. Eyes wide, she bit her bottom lip, staring at him in disbelief. Her feet hit the floor again as he lowered her, but they remained in the same hold, his grip loosening but not letting her go.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” she said so quickly that the words ran together, almost unintelligible. 

“Yeah, well, you did.” And he grinned. Actually grinned. The hand under her shirt stayed, his thumb circling the small of her back, but he brought the other up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I always thought I would be the one to kiss you,” he mused, still grinning, his fingers absentmindedly toying with her hair as he maintained unwavering eye contact. 

“Well, you kept backing out, so a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” she said. He laughed and kissed her forehead.

“You still scared of me?” she asked as he pulled away.

One loud laugh burst from him. “Probably more than I was before,” he told her honestly.

“Well, you don’t scare me, Mr. Queen.” 

His hand cupped her face, and she leaned into his touch. He stepped away from the door jamb, leaning into her more, causing her back to hit the other side. Reverently, he looked over her face, from hairline to jawline, taking her in as he’d done so many times before but without having to look away. 

He kissed her then, soft and slow, different from the one they had just shared. He stopped for a moment, his lips still hovering over hers, barely touching; the tips of their noses together. She opened her eyes just as he opened his, then initiated another kiss. One, two, three small kisses, each more intense than the last, until she was steering him towards her bed. His mouth explored her ear and her neck, eliciting a sigh from her. 

They turned every which way as they maneuvered themselves around the room before falling to the mattress, her landing on top of him. 

“Oof,” escaped her mouth as her chest hit his. A full belly laugh erupted from Oliver, and shook her whole body with him. He stopped suddenly. 

Felicity looked down at him, his face twisting and his eyes having darkened. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She felt her heart fall from her chest and into her stomach. She moved to get off of him, but he grabbed her back to him immediately. 

“No! Not this…” 

“Then what?”

“For not realizing sooner that I could have this. Or at least try to have this. With you. ”

Felicity shook her head at him, sinking her face down to rub her nose against his. Both of his hands came up to her face, a thumb caressing one side. 

Without so much as cracking a smile, she said, “So are we going to do this or what?”

And with that he threw everything he had into the following kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth and hers finding passage into his. Encircling his arms around her, he moved them further up the bed to her headboard before flipping her over. 

As he pulled away, her lips red and swollen, one hand started at her shoulder and stroked down to her hips, a thumb hooking over the band of her boxers. His eyes never left hers, and she could see the question in his eyes. One last out he was giving her, and she wasn’t about to take it. 

Determined to make him realize she really was all in, that she knew the risk she was taking with him, and the past along with it, she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and quickly moved it up his torso. He moved to his knees as she sat up with him to pull it over his head. He followed suit by removing her tank top. 

Upon bringing her arm back down, she hit her elbow on the headboard, right at the funny bone. 

“Ow!” she yelped, her lips pouting immediately as he chuckled. 

His hand smoothed down her arm as he tried to suppress more laughter, and he bent back to place his lips to her elbow. He kissed his way up her arm, to her neck, and then stopped to look at her again. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said. 

Her face softened at that. Why that moment was when he decided to say those words, she would probably never know, but she didn’t care. 

Oliver moved them back to laying down on the mattress, his hands exploring every exposed inch of skin to her upper body as they kissed. She’d removed her bra before bed, so the removal of her tank top had uncovered her entirely to him. Yet, he wasn’t greedily groping at her, as a lot of her experiences with lovers in the past had involved. In fact, he seemed to purposefully be avoiding her breasts, opting to run his palm over her the curve of her hips and waist, splaying his fingers over her belly. 

Meanwhile, her hands were wandering the contours of his arms and back. She could feel each crater and rise to his scars. It was one thing to have seen them almost daily as he worked out. But to touch them was something else entirely. For a moment her heart ached for him and everything he had gone through; everything he had lost. Like a series of braille, each scar she touched had their own story. 

He brought one hand up to cup one of her breasts, and she bit his lip, in turn eliciting a moan from him. The pad of his thumb passed over her nipple, and she whimpered. 

By this point, his arousal could be felt against her leg through his jeans, and she took it upon herself to speed things along to make him more comfortable. 

She pushed him up, her hands trailing down his chest and over his abs, and her fingers worked at the button and zipper on his jeans. She fumbled more than her fantasies had ever had her do, but eventually managed to undo the flap entirely. He assisted with the rest, throwing his jeans and boxers across the room. 

“Before we take one more step,” she said, biting her lips. “Show me that ass, Mr. Queen.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and shook his head before crawling off the bed. “This is degrading,” he joked as he stood up. 

“Shut up, and turnaround.” She rotated her index finger around in the air. 

He complied, fighting a smile and ultimately failing. 

“Oh, yeah,” she sighed, “that’s the good stuff.”

He turned around and leapt at her. “I’ll show you the good stuff,” he said as he flew back across the bed, landing beside her, tickling her. 

Her laugh echoed through the room. The sound was like lightning, crackling and jolting and impossibly lovely to hear. It shot through him, and it hit him that he could get used to this. 

Once his hands stopped moving about her stomach, they moved down to her boxers, stripping them over her thighs and down her legs in one fluid movement. As he came back up to her, his hands started at her ankles, and with each spot his hands touched, he followed with a kiss. 

Her shin.   
Her knee.   
Her thigh.  
Her hip. 

He moved over to just below her belly button, placing several kisses there before trailing back up her torso. He took her left nipple into his mouth, circling his tongue around it before repeating the same to her right. Oliver could feel the goosebumps rising all over her body, her breathing heavy. He placed a kiss between her breasts before bringing his mouth back up to hers. 

They explored each other’s mouths more, her hands finding their way to his hips and eventually his ass. She dug her nails lightly into one cheek, and he moaned into her mouth, his tongue flicking across the roof of her mouth. Gliding one hand down one side, he squeezed one of her thighs before pushing it to spread her legs wider. He brushed his fingers over her mound, gently parting her moist lips. She shuddered, her nails digging into his skin again. 

With that, he moved back down her body, and her legs widened of their own volition. 

His lips kissed across her stomach, down her hip, over her thighs, landing at the wet slit. Oliver plunged his tongue into her opening, and Felicity gasped at the sensation. 

He intently navigated away from her center anytime his tongue was close, each time a frustrating whimper leaving her throat. He was settled comfortably between her legs, his arms under her slightly bent knees and wrapping around her hips. She lifted one leg, resting the foot on his back and pressing down; a signal to him to keep going. He obliged.

Both forearms that surrounded her hips weaseled their way under her body, his hands cupping her buttcheeks as he delved further into her. After several minutes of her mewling, his tongue flicked to her clit, and she unleashed a yelp of satisfaction, inviting him to seize it.

As her back arched, he could feel the spasm and throb with every sweep and swirl he gave her. He made sure to watch her face each time he knew she was close and would pull away, a whimper escaping her kiss-stained lips. 

She moaned his name, her other leg bending so to place her foot on his back with the other. Eventually her hands came down, grabbing his hair in an effort to make him stay. With that, he sheathed two fingers within her, and she gasped. 

Every move he made ebbed and flowed with the reaction of her body, until one hand clasped his hair as her other fell to the bed, clinging to the comforter. A cry ripped from her throat before she fell back into the mattress again. 

“Oh. My. God.”

He was climbing his way back up her body, proud of himself, when she flipped over. 

“I don’t remember teaching you that move in training,” he teased. 

“I’m a natural,” she said before claiming his lips. 

Urging him with her hands, he moved up to sit against the headboard, and then she straddled him. Felicity pulled away to study his face a moment, reaching a hand up to caress the side of it. 

“I love you, too,” she said.

“I know you do,” he said back before kissing her. 

From there, each inch, curve, and angle of their bodies found each other. Whispers and exclamations carried the same volume in desire. Three words were passed back and forth, making up for the months they’d been left unsaid. 

Gold, orange, and purple painted their bodies as the sun rose, a world full of promise coming with it.

>>>\---------------------------->

When Felicity rolled to her side, full sunlight hitting her face, her hand reached out to just beside her. She’d expected Oliver sleeping beside her, but instead found rumpled sheets. She sat up in her bed, listening to the sounds in her apartment to signal his presence.

Nothing. 

Anxiety hit her, thoughts of him second guessing everything that had happened just hours before coming at her in waves. She lay back down, facing away from her window and closed her eyes to fight back tears. 

Moments later she heard her front door open and close, causing her to pop back up. 

Oliver peeked his head into the bedroom. Upon seeing her awake, he grinned and walked the rest of the way in, slipping off his shoes and climbing in beside her. 

“I brought you some bagels and coffee,” he said. “I considered making you breakfast, but my experience with cooking for myself consists of tropical fruit and insects, some rats here and there, so I thought I’d spare you.”

Despite her temporary freakout only seconds before, she grinned at his levity. Welcomed it.   
He scooted in beside her, his arm coming around her shoulders to bring her into him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her heart rate finally coming down, and almost feeling guilty for thinking he’d left her. 

Her arm snuck around his torso as she burrowed into him, breathing deep. He kissed her forehead and sighed. 

“While I was out, I saw on the news they’re having another Mayoral election.”

Eyes closed, sleep heavy in her voice, Felicity said, “That’s nice.”

“I’m thinking of running.”

Her eyes popped open, along with her head from his chest, and she looked at him. “What?!”

“My mom had a vision for this city, and I’d like to carry it out for her.”

Felicity tilted her head at him. “Not that I don’t think you can do it, but where are you going to pencil in running a city while also avenging it AND serving as CEO for a company?”

“I’ll figure it out,” he said. “And I’m not alone.” He looked at her pointedly and then kissed her nose. 

She couldn’t argue with that. 

“I do have one other concern,” she said. 

“What’s that?”

“Well, one of us is over-dressed for this announcement that is cause for celebration.”

As she moved to lay on top of him, she didn’t account for the lack of space on the mattress, which resulted in them both rolling to the floor. Laughter erupted from of them as they hit, Oliver now on top of her. 

“Oops,” she said. 

He shook his head, the grin still on his face something that she would need to get used to. Not a word was spoken before he kissed her, and she made quick work to make sure their state of undress was matched.

>>>\--------------------------- The End --------------------------->

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! I apologize for not taking the time to respond to each of your kind and encouraging comments, but please know that I read every single one and will continue to. I will try to go through and reply to some of you, after I get back from vacation. 
> 
> I have a lot of other head-canon about Felicity I'd like pen (for instance, she has a cat, though not in this story). I'll try to work on some of those soon. I also have some Olicity scenes that didn't fit this story, so stay tuned for those down the line as well. 
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read this story, and waiting patiently for each chapter. Maybe the Arrow writers will stumble across this and borrow some ideas. :)


End file.
